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I am not sure what I'd think of my date if at the beginning of a date he announced clearly to the waiter that we are splitting bills.. But could some of the equality gestures be killing the chemistry before it has a chance?
I am not on the dating scene but I noticed men in Switzerland (not only Swiss men) tend to let the ladies pay.
Once I went for drinks with two men and only had sparkling water and when the waiter came neither of them offered to pay mine. Where I come from, a coffee is no big deal and a man will always offer to pay a woman's drink. The way I see things working in urban Switzerland, the assumption is that each person will be in control of his/her own consumption and of his/her own payment.
This is irrespective of one's own gender or that of the others who are present at the time.
Of course the weather doesn't always comply and for those days a coffee shop date should work.
In my case when I met someone I liked we spent lots of time going on walks and for picnics the initial few dates and then for our first dinner date my beau brought it up and asked me how I think we ought to handle the bill.
Hi Im a woman from Asia and I would like to clear some doubts when dating Swiss men, particularly Swiss German men.
If he comes up with some lame excuse, then use the same hand to wave bye bye with. One way to do it is to go for hikes/ picnics/ walks/activities that do not involve "bills" for the first few dates.
As far as "tend to let the ladies pay" goes, I've never seen that happen.
Where it does happen as you describe, I wonder whether this situation perhaps arises because of an assumption by the woman that ONE of them will pay for both of them (and if she is thinking in an old-fashioned, patriarchal sexist way, then she may assume that this ONE ought to be the man). I think it is part of adult responsibility to take enough money with you when you go out, never to assume that anyone else should be paying for your food or drinks, then pay your own bills yourself, and let everyone else pay theirs. If ever you wish to be kind enough to pay for someone else, well then do so as a clear choice, with a glad heart, with no resentment.
He made a joke and said these were confusing times cause if he paid it all he might offend my "feminist" side, if he asks to split I might think him stingy (Note that he did not suggest that I pay all of it). Long story short, if the guy doesn't bring it up, you should and splitting the bill is the best way to handle it IMO at least in the early days.
Also preferably pick venues that don't require breaking the bank for either party. It was tragicomic to see the sudden realisation on their face once they realised "omg I'm all alone in the middle of the forest/mountain/wherever with this guy I've met on the internet and he seems ok but what if what they showed on tv was happening now and I shouldn't show that I'm freaking out but omgomgomg".